Restart, Refresh, Renew

If we are ever in doubt about what to do, it is a good rule to ask ourselves what we shall wish on the morrow that we had done. –John Lubbock

One week into the new year already.

Last Friday, the day after new years I sat in a swivel chair while Camille, my hair stylist struggled to establish some kinda order with my unkempt, out of control head and the weeds that spring from it, trying unsuccessfully to convince her to do something with it that would get me out of there in the shortest possible time, I resigned myself to my fate. Sitting there with nothing much to do, except thumb through the many mags directed at women, Instyle, Black hair, Ebony, Essence or O, Zines I had browsed thru many times before, I was excited when she turned on the radio. I had hoped for some music but instead what I got was one of those annoying local talk shows, It would have been bad if it were Mutty, or Antoinette but no….I was lucky enough to get some guy (I don’t think it was Ragga)…some guy who seemed to be “doing” a character, speaking in perfect “ghettoese” with a nasal comic tone. It was annoying at first then I decided to listen to what he had to say, at first he started rattling on about the clash between Vybz Kartel and Mavado at Sting 2008, before moving on to talk about the fireworks display at the waterfront and whether that Gov’t expenditure is justified, what really caught my interest though was his tirade on New Years resolutions, he asked, why is it that people fail so miserably to uphold their resolutions?, as a possible remedy he encouraged starting the process of change maybe two months before January, so that by the new year you would be well on your way in forming a lasting habit.

Does he have a point?……Maybe….

This year….“I’m gonna lose 30lbs”, “I’m going to save six moths salary”, “I’m going to exercise more”, “I’m going to quit smoking/drinking”, “I’m going to spend more time with my kids/family”…On and on, promises, promises. To me, the new year symbolizes renewal, an opportunity to give thanks for another moment, another day, another year to be better, to do better. The new year resolution is a commitment to make use of this opportunity. Another chance to transform ourselves into the new improved version. MARTINO Version 2.0.0.9., but why is it so freakin’ difficult to change?

Well that’s easy. Our vices feel so damn good and come so naturally to us…we are attracted to vices and so eventually we are overcome by them. Our vices feel so good that we indulge them all the time which in the extreme usually undermines our goals, dreams and even our relationships. On the other hand, development of good habits, habits beneficial to our spiritual growth and long term goals usually takes hard work and often great self restraint, attributes which go against modern society’s trend of self indulgence.

So how do we change? How do we give up our vices or at the very least cut back? and/or how do we develop our virtues?

The first step is usually introspection, acknowledging that certain habits you have need to change, admitting that either 1) these habits are not beneficial to your long term goals and dreams and that you do not want to continue indulging them or 2) you need to develop certain virtues that will enable you to improve your quality of life. Then, honestly determine, how important is it to make this change, in this day and age, people often only commit to change after they have had some epiphany, they are brought face to face with death or they are facing some incredible difficulty, and even then they can’t be fully committed, having developed a lifestyle so opposed to what they “want” to do ‘twould be such a mammoth task to attempt change they take the easy road and maintain the status quo.

Anyway assuming that you have convinced yourself that change is a must, the second step then would be to gather as much information as you can about your intention and what moving to change your habits entail. Whether it be losing weight (gym or diet or both), giving up smoking (patch or hypnotherapy) or starting a savings plan (partner plan or bank).

The third step is to start NOW!!! Which supports our talk show host’s position. To wait is to give your subconscious a better chance to sabotage your resolve, to create excuses to say I can’t, to give in to laziness. Immediately throw away your cigarettes, walk into a bank and lodge some money, Pick an exercise program on TV and workout with them. Don’t hitch!!!

The fourth and last step is to allow yourself room to periodically fail, to understand that change is a road filled with ups and downs, know that you WILL fall off the horse and prepare yourself accordingly, know what resources you will have to dig into to help you to get back on, see the process of change as an incredible journey, an adventure, an expedition with the goal to find the better you.

Good luck folks

Big dreams